Lotus Flower

Lotus Flower
Awakening

5.01.2012

Facing the dark side

Within the chrysalis a complete transformation of the caterpillar happens. The cells change and break down creating a completely new form from what entered into this sacred space. No cell unturned. No thought left untouched. The space within this chrysalis is tight and to break free the butterfly must push and struggle to be freed, to survive. This struggle is also what gives it life. The struggle pushes blood to the wings and gets the new form moving preparing for its new life. Contained within this new form all the information and knowledge of what to do as a new creature capable of flight and reproduction. Capable of something it has never seen nor done in its former life as a crawling vegetation eating caterpillar.

My butterflies are now free living their 21 days of life in the sunshine and warmth. Their transformation and subsequent struggle to live played out in my living room under the excited watchful eyes of my little girls and myself. I was spellbound by this process and learned so much about life in those short moments of time. Inside my chrysalis I'm learning things about myself also. As I'm turned inside out I allow the Divine Grace to have its way with me and truly help me grow and improve through experience and time.

I have been making piece with my dark side. I never truly understood what that meant until this week. Its the unhappy thoughts, fears, and scars that are ignored and shoved deep into the depths of the mind. I'm freeing myself from these things slowly and with purpose so they can be brought to the light and released to become my strength and my knowledge of how to learn and grow forward. I'm feeling the push and pull of my transformation and the walls are growing tighter as I expand.

I'm also coming to terms with the biggest fear that has held me back my whole life. I'm not sure of its roots- perhaps a past life- as I cannot remember a life experience where I wasn't held back because of this fear. I fear accomplishment. I actually have managed to always keep myself in my safe bubble where I am rarely surrounded by anything that can fail or cause my failure. Its not to say I don't take chances I just don't take big ones. My daughters are the exception and they were the spark that started me down the deepest depths of self improvement. Last week I realized my greatest fear and it made me cry. How was I ever to inspire and support my greatest creation if I couldn't do the same for myself? It has been a week since I realized this deep fear and as it spun inside my being tearing me up and cutting me raw I slowly faced it and grew stronger in knowing its name. I placed it into the Sacred Light and asked for its healing. This process is a daily ritual and I have to know it with every breath. It has become my friend and in honoring this fear it is slowly melting into my strength to push me forward.

I have created an opening for so much growth by accepting my darkest space within me and in doing so I am slowly remember who I truly was always born to be in this lifetime. I wish the same for each of you as you read these words because I believe we all are capable of remembering who we are and what we are here to do. Societally influencing is slowing melting away in my world because I give it no power when my soul guides and I do what always feels right to my very core. Imagine what our world would look like if we all did our best and followed Divine Guidance.

It wasn't easy to share this deep healing but it feels good to know its written and shared to help others. I honor each of you as you travel your roads of life.

In Loving Support ~ Leah