Back to where I came from

I was standing at the base of a mesa. It was one of those spaces in time where you see the object but little else has detail. It was dark as night. New moon and little stars to view. Somewhere from behind me I could sense a light. Bright like the sun but dim at this point only to assist in my vertical climb up to the top. The rocks appeared red. They were hard and at some points slick but I kept on climbing. I noticed I was wearing a white robe of sorts. It was more an essence of self than actual clothing. As I became aware of this I realized the weight of my perceived body was simply a projection from the mind. My climb became quick and I almost flew to the top of the percepice. Once I reached the top it was black. Not black as night just black. I stepped forward knowing that I would quickly be engulfed into something that I would have to push against to free myself from again.

The black rained down on me like molasses and stuck to me in the same fashion. I was quickly knocked down and over taken with the weight of all that was contained within it. I flashed to the moment I had met this black mass before. I was wide awake the first time and it over took me in the same fashion leaving me breathless and scared. I was better prepared this time as well as lacking fear. Tonight I would free myself from the ties that bind me to so many earth bound inbreed fears and societal trainings. This blackness represented all that was fear, pain, loss of self, desperation, hatred, lies, endless senseless self sabotaging acts upon myself. This blackness was what has been holding me down from truly freeing my soul into the outward expression that is self.

That is where is happened. The obvious realization of feeling the separation from my source. The womb of God and that pureness of Love that is indescribable in words. I saw it in the light that I knew was behind me as I climbed. I was now removed from the physical. Witnessing the dark mass attempt to over take the physical temple once more. The body shifting and wiggling in its attempts to be free. I knew it would die without me. It was only a manifestation of the physical world. A place for me the I AM to work from and experience wonder. My temple to perform miracles as I walked in full embodiment and joy. Spreading this truth everywhere by being.

The choice was made. I would return to the body and dig out of the darkness once and for all to fight the demons of despair, fear, and hatred. I would share my self in it's true form once more. The night was filled with endless visions and dreams. Memories, split second glimpses at decisions made or words spoken. Working from the pure source self they were cleared with little less than a blink of an eye. The darkness lifted up like bubbles from the ocean floor. Slowly the stickiness and weight of all that had been attaching to every last fiber was being released in light speed timing. I was being freed. I was returning back to where I came from and remaining here to do the work that was always intended all at the same time.

Suddenly it was light. Pure blinding light. I witnessed at that moment my darker side. A side of me that served a purpose to the physical body however useless to the enlighten form. It would assist me as I walked my path but would no longer hinder me as I pushed forward.

My mediation has shifted into sleep and as I came out of this space I was instantly aware of how long I had been in this state. My restful night sleep was replaced by an extremely deep healing. My head was spinning. This spinning sensation continued on the better part of the day and into the remainder of the week. The re-calabration that is taking place catches me off guard at times. I still see flashes of something for review however they are brief. I hardly know myself anymore and find myself floating through life...just waiting. Being a mother and a wife are my current compass and I also using them as my beacon when I get fuzzy in the details. I feel healed in a way that I pray all may feel someday. I finally understand that God and I were never seperated. I am always Home within my own self. She is with me and He guides me with every breath.

Be One with Love,
Leah